Avoiding the "You always/you never" Trap

Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. 
Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet) 1694-1778

This week we tap into the limitless source of joy that comes from appreciating the goodness of others.  This isn’t just the goodness that results in a benefit to us, but goodness in and of itself.  By deliberately taking the time to recognize the goodness in our loved ones, in people we may not know, and even in those who challenge us, we offset our tendancy to sense the shortcomings of others more strongly than their strengths.  With this renewed sense of being surrounded by goodness, our nervous system relaxes a bit and we feel safer.  Often the benefit of this practice is identified as being able to see the goodness even in our adversaries, and that is certainly one benefit.  This practice also helps us in our closest relationships.  How many times have we thought about or said to loved ones, “You always [take her side]” or “You never [do your fair share of the housework]”?  Science has shown that negative events are etched more deeply in our memory, are more easily retreivable and have a longer impact than positive events.  By regularly sitting and resting in the felt sense of the goodness of our partners and loved ones, we build more easily retrievable knowledge of their goodness, fairness, kindness and caring so that we don’t as easily fall into the “you always/you never” trap.  

We hope that you can join us this week as we sit in awareness of the goodness that surrounds us.  

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May all beings everywhere without exception bask in the goodness that surrounds them.